Mono-log

432

December 5th, 2013

This time it's purest.

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So… it’s been almost a year since I was able to complete my goal of uploading a sound using my Nord G1 Modular. It’s been almost two years since I begun that seemingly unreachable and never-ending goal. What have I done since?

What have you done since?

Something has dawned on me over the last few days, and call it what you like, but things have happened, things have aligned, people have said things to me, I have been able to look at things differently again. I have felt that hunger, that drive creep back into my mind and I have thought for a moment, am I going to do this again?

What has finally occurred to me, and this may seem bloody obvious, but I don’t think I really completely got it before, not really, is that you have got to want to do something, to really do it.

I have attempted to continue my uploads, but have always know deep down inside that I didn’t want to. I felt there was no need, I had nothing really I wanted to say, or create in that way, but had another drive which was decided what I wanted and what I was prepared to risk in trying to get it.

What it has really come to is, what I have realised is, the only thing I am really risking, really ever risking is not being happy if I don’t do the things I want to do. And as we all know, if you are happy, those around you are happy, happy things happen to everyone and then every gets empowered to do great things.

I am not sure if many of you have this same thing, but I sometimes feel as if life is trying to show us something, and we know it, we can feel it, but we simply choose to ignore it, find an excuse and before to long it just slips away form our mind and we move on, continue to do that thing we don’t enjoy, complain, get grumpy, and moan at the world as if it is a fault out of our control. You know, and I know that’s total bullshit right? You know the one thing there in all of that? the one thing that is always around? I think you know who I am talking about.

I am going to give you a whole bunch of reasons why I can’t be arsed to do something. A whole bunch of reasons why my life is not where I want it to be through not fault of my own. And I think you will find these very familiar, and you know why they are familiar right? It’s because we are all the same here, we all have this rubbish we come out with stopping us doing something. The choice really is as simple as doing it, or not. that’s it. Do it, or don’t.

So here we go, reasons why we can’t be arsed:

I can’t because I need that bit of equipment, if I had that I would be ok.

I work really long hours and am always tired.

I am unemployed.

I am hung over.

All my music sounds shit anyway.

It’s not ready yet, I just to tweak those hats some more.

I was kicked out of my home when I was young and had to struggle since.

Other people just seem to get money.

It’s easy for you.

I have kids.

I have a demanding girl friend.

Techno is dead.

Richard D James has said it all already.

I am too old.

I am not old enough.

I am soooo busy I just haven’t got the time.

My boss is a prick and he decides what I do, and how I run my life.

…and on, and on, and on, and on we talk all this rubbish.

I hope some of those hit the spot, I am sure they did. And if you think some of them might be unfair on some people…get over yourself, I am some of those people.

If none of that did worry you, then think of this. Again, it’s been almost two years since I started my uploads. Two years have passed. We are two years older, probably two years deafer too.

This is it. We don’t get to decide if we can do this again. This is our only chance at doing something we enjoy. Right now, right this second we have to decide. We simply jus decide what we want to do, and we do it. It’s as simple as that. We do it, and then we die. As we will you know. This is it. Scary isn’t it. And yet I bet you have that little thing in your mind thats says, ‘yeah, but you know, my time has passed, and I have this thing, and…’ STOP THIS!!!! Just do what you want, screw the rest, as they won’t give a shit either way anyway. If your happy, they will be, and whats better than having those around you happy.

Ok…enough of me ranting. It’s time to hit the Nord G1. And do you know what, I can hear it in my head right now… ‘really? another year, seriously? why not start in January when it’s all tidy and a complete year, at the start. Really? have you got the energy? what about all these worries, where are you going to be in a few months, what about the rent, what about…’

Ssssshh. Your wrong voice, we don’t get to do this right now, right now it’s about be doing. Just doing. Do it!

So here it is. Another year of G1 uploads. No outboard, no eq, no nothing. All sounds will be coming from the Nord G1, and Nord G1 only. I might do some midi sequencing at some point as I never did that before on these uploads, but the sounds are going to be 100% Nord G1 for this next stint. This time it’s purest.